End of life ceremonies
(Funerals, interment/above ground/scattering of ashes)
FUNERALS
At this difficult time, it can be hard to focus on what your loved one may have wanted, or what as a family you consider a fitting farewell. A quiet honouring, reflection and acknowledgement of their life, or more of a celebration of life. My aim is to create a ceremony that not only honours the life of the person who has passed but also provides comfort and support to those left behind.
As an independent civil celebrant, I will work closely with you and your chosen funeral director to provide the right service. I will sit with you to get to know your loved one’s story, listen to your memories and wishes and gently guide you through ideas that you may wish to include in the service.
I can help you with all aspects including offering ideas for readings, poems, music and prayers if you wish any of these to be included, working with you to create a meaningful and professionally written service that truly reflects the life and interests of the person you are remembering.
From our discussions, I will write a tribute that reflects your loved one. You will have every opportunity to edit this until it truly reflects the person and your wishes for them.
I can deliver the whole tribute or facilitate involvement of family and friends in delivering key aspects of the service. My role is to support you so that you can focus on memories.
If you are looking for a celebrant who will take the time to understand your wishes and help create a memorable farewell, I would be honoured to do so.
Our Meeting
If you haven’t directly contacted me, it may be that your funeral director has put you in touch with me. I will liaise with the funeral director to ensure I know initial details of your loved one. I will then contact you to arrange to meet, this could be at your home, at the funeral director’s office or even a coffee shop.
An important aspect of the ceremony is to capture the memories, thoughts and feelings of your family and friends. When we meet, please bring along anyone who you think could contribute significantly to your loved one’s story, such as close family and friends. If there are people who would like to contribute but are unable to attend the meeting, please ask them to write down their stories and give to you to bring along, or they can email me directly (please let me know so that I can look out for the email).
Some examples of information to include are the highlights of their lives, their family, work and favourite holidays, the teams they supported, the music they loved, their quirks and what made them laugh. It’s your choice what to include of course, these are just some ideas.
At our meeting, we can discuss some of the practicalities you may like to include, such as music, poems, readings, songs, hymns or prayers. I can provide ideas for these. If a close friend or family member wishes to participate in the service with a reading or poem for example, I can provide help and support both before and during the service if required. If speaking publicly feels daunting, I can read a prepared message on their behalf.
Following our meeting, I will send you a draft of the eulogy for you to read through and make any changes you like. This can be via email (please check in your junk mail folder just in case the message ends up there) or I can send you a copy through the post (or deliver it personally depending on location) and we can discuss changes on the telephone. This process will be repeated until the perfect eulogy is written.
On the day:
I will arrive in good time to support you, making sure anyone who is reading knows I will be there to support them also, should they need it. I’ll be a familiar friendly face ready to deliver a memorable farewell in a professional and dignified manner.
Scattering, above ground memorials or Interment (below ground) of ashes:
Following a cremation, you may wish to hold a ceremony for scattering or interment of the ashes.
Interment provides an opportunity to create a specific final resting place for your loved one. The ashes will be placed below ground and memorial of your choosing will mark the final resting place.
Above ground memorials hold ashes without the need for interment.
Scattering of ashes can be done at certain crematoria and (with permission in some cases) in other areas.
Memorial Services
It may be that the service at the crematorium or graveside is a private time of reflection for close family and friends only, and you may wish to arrange a gathering for other friends and family at a later date. This may be a memorial service ceremony which focuses on a celebration of your loved one’s life, for example. This could be held anywhere – such as a hotel or other venue, or even your own home or garden. I can write a script that includes everything special and unique about that person and fits in with your wishes for this ceremony.
Frequently asked Questions
What is a funeral Celebrant?
A funeral celebrant is someone qualified to host and officiate funeral services. As well as conducting the funeral itself (non-religious and semi-religious), celebrants are involved in planning the order of service, music, writing the eulogy and creating a meaningful service for the person who has died.
What are the benefits of having a celebrant-led funeral?
One of the biggest benefits of a celebrant-led funeral is their openness and inclusivity. They allow you to create a ceremony that is a true reflection of your loved one.
Many feel that typical funerals don’t offer any kind of emotional weight or psychological transformation, despite this being a huge part of the grieving process.
However, a funeral celebrant will try to bring a sense of light to the ceremony, reminding the mourners that the individual lived a beautiful, meaningful life.
It also gives you the flexibility to factor in different beliefs and wishes, without being tied to a specific structure.
What should I consider for the content of the service?
I will meet with you to discuss stories and memories of your loved one. Some areas you may wish to think about are as follows:-
- Where they were born and grew up
- Their siblings and family members they grew up with
- Their school days and childhood stories
- Partners, children, grandchildren and other family members
- Their closest friends
- Any involvement with Armed forces/National Service
- Places of work
- Groups and societies they belonged to
- Interests and achievements
- Their favourite memories
- Musical tastes
- Significant events
- Sayings and stories
- What will you most remember them for?
- Did they make any personal requests about their own funeral?
- Will anybody else be speaking at/participating in the service?
Who should speak at the funeral?
It’s completely up to you, many people will leave the majority of the funeral to the Celebrant, which is perfectly normal and understandable given the circumstances. If you wish for a family member or friend to speak, carry out a reading or maybe recite a poem that is absolutely fine and can be discussed as part of my home visit and our time working together.
Do I need an order of service?
Naturally there is an order to the day, however it is completely up to you if you wish to have a printed order of service.
Is it possible to hold a service or ceremony without visiting the crematorium?
Yes, I can hold a service or celebration of life wherever you wish it to be.
How do I pay for a funeral Celebrant?
This will be included as part of the costs you pay to the Funeral Director.